Dan Vs
by xXDancingShadowXx
Summary: Why is the title as simple as it is? Well, for every chapter name, it will say exactly what Dan wants to get revenge on, just like the show. Requests accepted and encouraged.
1. Allergies

**Prompt: Dan gets caught up in a fit of allergies. Surprisingly, he doesn't get to caught up in revenge and stays pretty calm about it. **

" I _must _be dying," Dan moaned.

"Not dying, _living_." Chris corrected.

" Don't you tell me how to live my life," Dan warned.

" Well, if you didn't want my help, then why'd you even call me?" His friend exclaimed.

" Who cares..just help me before I rip my eyes out."

Mr. Mumbles jumped onto Dan's stomach without warning, as he groaned with displeasure.

" You okay...?" Chris winced.

" Leave me alone you heathen..." He grumbled.

" So..what are your symptoms?"

" My nose won't stop running, my eyes itch like crazy, and my head is killing me," Dan exclaimed.

" I have just the thing for that, let's go to my house." Chris replied.

* * *

><p>" Are you <em>sure <em>I can only take two allergy pills!?" Dan whined sorely.

" Yes, if you take anymore, it won't be pretty." Elise spoke.

" Just lay down Dan, everything will be fine." Chris explained with comfort.

The jerk sighed as he slumped into the couch, eyes watering with irritation.

He could here the two speaking to each other in the kitchen, as they tried to figure out why he was all of a sudden plagued with hay fever.

" What do you think caused it?" Elise asked.

" He practically lives in a landfill Elise, why do you think he has such bad allergies?" Chris hissed.

" Do you think it could possibly be...his cat?" She replied.

Dan's eyes opened abruptly as he heard the awful idea, it couldn't be his Mr. Mumbles...anything but that.

" I don't know...he's had that cat for a couple of years, you'd think the allergies would've taken over by now." Chris explained.

" Chris, that thing is a mangy fur-ball, it is a walking _pile _of trouble!" Elise spat.

Dan shook his head, as he closed his eyes to think. If it was, say, Mr. Mumbles causing this...then he wasn't sure what to do.

* * *

><p>By now, Dan had fallen asleep as the hours ticked by. Chris found him still on the couch, and decided it was best to wake him up.<p>

" Dan...?" He whispered sharply.

The 'revenge-getter' flicked his eyes open, with hesitation, as they were now swollen and bloodshot.

" What...?" Dan asked hoarsely.

" It's getting late, I'm going to drive you home so you can go to bed." Chris murmured.

" Fine." He coughed in reply.

" Elise, we're leaving now!" Chris shouted.

Dan winced with each step he took, near breathless as his lungs ceased to function properly.

" C'mon." His friend coaxed.

The two friends hopped into the car, the dry air enraging Dan as it disturbed his calmed state of mind.

" This air makes it even harder to breathe..and it hurts my throat," He wailed.

" Close the window then." Chris said.

He obeyed, for once, and fastened his seat belt before leaning back in his seat.

" You really think my allergies are because ob Mr. Mubles?" Dan asked with a stuffy voice.

" Anythings possible, but I really think it's just the rapid weather changes lately." The taller man spoke.

" Good."

* * *

><p>" You gonna be okay?" Chris shouted from downstairs.<p>

" Yeah I think so." Dan shouted back.

Before he could blink, he slammed his door shut and trudged to his bedroom. Once there, he slipped his usual boxers on and threw his pants aside, while ripping off his shoes and looking around nervously.

" Brutus, I need Brutus..and Mr. Mumbles.." He said to himself.

Immediately, he grabbed his beloved childhood teddy bear and then scooped up his feline with his free arm.

"Sweet sleep, here we come." Dan sighed.

The man crawled into bed, gently setting aside his only two treasures he possessed, and snuggled into place. Strange enough, he didn't feel the need for sweet revenge, all he wanted was for the horrible feeling to go away, and perhaps he'd think of a plan for vengeance later on. He even jotted it down messily on his 'revenge-list', yawning tiredly and setting it aside.

He dreamily gazed to his right, where his fur-ball of a cat cuddled by his head. Dan nuzzled the end of her tail, taking in the softness.

She stretched, meowing slightly under her breath.

" You can't be the reason for my allergies," Dan proclaimed. He knew it was possible, like Chris said, but he stubbornly refused to believe it.

Perhaps, it really was because of the weather. After all, it was dry and hot outside, instead of normally warm and humid.

Regardless, he stuck with this idea instead and slowly drifted into a peaceful, nice sleep. And when the time came, he'd be sure to get his sweet, sweet revenge.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I absolutely adore this show. I'm pretty sure I've watched every single episode to date. Who knew such an amazing show could get canceled within two years of airing.

Anyways, I hope this does well and I have faith in it. If anyone, and I mean anyone has a request, tell me. I'll write just about anything. :)


	2. Mother, Part 1

**Prompt: When his mother stops by unexpectedly, Dan must learn to cope with the situation . It's only when she drops gets too wound up that he begins to go absolutely insane.  
><strong>

It never rained much in California, and even when it did, it wasn't nearly this bad. Dan wasn't willing to deal with such petty weather, especially when he had business to attend to. There was a lot of stuff on his 'revenge list' that he'd planned to get done, but of course, of all days, this just had to happen.

" Remind me to add rainy weather to my list, Mr. Mumbles," Dan exclaimed grumpily.

As his mind wandered, he remembered that it was Mother's Day as recently as yesterday. He knew it would probably would do wonders if he could find a gift to send his own mother, but then again he never really did, so what was the point? After all, she probably wouldn't care much anyways.

" Meow," Mr. Mumbles mewled.

Rain poured harder outside, and it was then that Dan realized his cat still needed more food. He frantically turned his head to see if her bowl was still slightly full, but it was completely empty.

" I have failed as a mother," He whispered in spite of himself.

It couldn't possibly get worse. No more cat food, no way to get his vengeance, and Chris was probably stuck somewhere stupid in rainy traffic.

" Sorry, Mr. Mumbles, you'll just have to be a good kitty and wait," Dan concluded reluctantly.

—oOo—

A series of deep, swift knocks woke him up a few hours later. It went silent after a while, so he decided to take a look and see who it was. Of course, Dan expected it to be Chris or Elise, like usual. Instead, it appeared to be someone he'd never really seen before, or so he thought.

" Who is it?" Dan asked.

" I think you should find out," The person replied.

He knew he'd heard that voice from somewhere, but it had been so long ago that he did, when he realized, it was his mother. The fact that she knew where he lived when he never even told her was strange enough, let alone her coming by. With a reluctant twist of the doorknob, he peered outside and saw her.

" Hello," She said.

" H-hi." Dan squeaked under his breath.

An awkward sort of silence reigned over the two, as the smell of rain against the fresh pavement seemed to spawn a conversation between them.

" Nice weather we're having," His mother replied.

She was a stalky, yet slim figure, hair short and down to her shoulders, a respectable length for her age. Though, she wasn't very old of course. Dan still wondered why she'd had him at such a young age...she'd always seemed more responsible than that. Nevertheless, he pushed himself to speak.

" Yep," Dan sighed. " Do you want to come inside?"

" I'd like that," She spoke.

The rest of the day seemed to stay that way, sort of silent, with a few conversations here and there and some bonding, but mostly just an awkward distance between him and his mother. It was strange, having to see her again, after all these years.

" Well, since you ran off to live on your own after you graduated high school, I've come to terms with my own issues," His mother exclaimed randomly.

" As in..?" Dan coaxed.

" I don't drink much anymore, only a little a bit, instead of the way I used to." She admitted.

Maybe that was why she was being so much sweeter and calmer then he remembered her to be. It was something he'd be able to get used to, as long as she didn't stay too nice, or it would make him physically sick.

" That's great," He replied. Though, it was more of a lie than the truth, since he was getting freaked out and annoyed by this point.

—oOo—

It was now nightfall, the barely-noticeable stars peeking out of the polluted California sky as the sun set. Dan's mother had fallen asleep countless hours ago, after wasting away the night by nagging at him and telling him the rare sort-of 'good' stories of his childhood. He still wasn't sure why he hadn't called Chris to come by and help yet; maybe it was because he'd longed to see and hear his mother's voice again. Even if she wasn't always the best mother around, she'd taught him everything he needed to know.

" I'll never understand you," He sighed quietly, and added, " Ever."

Dan still never really understood why he even had a bad childhood. His brain tended to erase the traumatic events, but he held on to them deep down. His father had been a well-known reject, always being ridiculed and told what he did wrong, to come home most days and take it out on his own son. And his mother tended to be quite aggressive as well, not to mention his grandmother, both of whom always called him names and occasionally got violent.

" My life is still pathetic," Dan admitted to himself.

Tears flooded his eyes as he stared back at his mother, who snored quietly on the sofa. Surely, she must have come by for a reason. To help him get by, perhaps? He didn't really care much after a while, and decided to fall asleep and forget about it all. They'd talk more and bond tomorrow.

**A/N: I am so sorry for not updating sooner, I have had major writer's block the past few months and have been somewhat busy with school and other things. Not to worry, I am back with more creativity and ideas. Happy late holidays to all! :) (Part 2, coming soon)  
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**- **I did shoot you a PM, in case you didn't already know. Again, I know that there is word going around about a possible comeback of a fourth season on Cartoon Network, but that isn't 100% official yet, and many believe it to be a phony rumor. I hope for it to be true, but let's not get our hopes up just yet, alright? I appreciate the fact that you enjoyed this first little one-shot, it was a bit of a pain to write, but it was well worth it. I agree, there should also be more fanfiction and fans out there. ( Kay-Mentrae )

- Hey now, that doesn't sound like much of a bad story idea. I am a bit of a fan of Wander Over Yonder myself, so I understand where you're coming from with the whole crossover thing. Here's the deal, I'd be more than happy to write it but it would take some time and would need to be a separate story on its own rather than a one-shot on here, so hopefully you can guess where that is going. :) ( WindGoddess Rune )


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